Bolts of Clarity

Bolts of Clarity

Bolts of clarity like shocks of revelation have been descending
Upon me lately in mysterious ways. Like information ascending.
I have pondered events from the past, but it was so vague and obscure,
I just stuck it in a file in my mind, figuring it was way past producing a cure.

I had theorized: "It doesn't matter anymore. Just close the book
And let it go." But for some reason it is all being revealed to me. Everywhere I look,
I'm seeing pieces of the puzzle of that ugly, ugly past coming through.
Maybe God has a reason I should know, long before I go.

I cannot fully comprehend such depths of depravity,
But if it is being revealed to me, there must be a reason. I need the clarity,
Like long-ago dreams suddenly revealing their meanings to me,
I not only remember the dream, but all its implications I now see.

Seems in my mind, this is attempting to tie together a lot I need to know.
I'll keep on listening and writing this secret story that even I did not know.
When it is all revealed, then is when I will write my story,
Even if I never put it out to sell, maybe one of my descendants could state the gore

Involved in my life from day one. I know it sounds paranoid,
But just now, I'm beginning to put the long, ugly, empty void
Of my unwanted life into words. If I had fully understood the hate directed at me,
I would have fully understood my life so much clearer. I never bothered to see

All the hate directed at me. There is one big question, though: why?
As these bits and pieces continue to come, maybe I'll find the answer to that "why."
I'm going to start sketching in basic facts as they are made clear.
It won't correct damage from all those years, but it's a story I must need to hear.